Tales from the Hog
by jade-fae
Summary: A series of snippets as part of The Houses Competition. Each one based on a different prompt. Addendum - jumped off after round three.
1. And then the door opened

House: Gryffindor  
Year: 7  
Category: drabble  
Prompt (Gregory Goyle)  
word count: 417

…

Title: and then the door opened

…

Optimistic, that's what he was. He hadn't known at first, at least he hadn't known the word. Ever since he'd received his Hogwarts letter he'd been giddy with excitement and anticipation. He'd wondered what one might call such a feeling and asked his father. His father, not being the scholarly sort, had directed him to his mother.

Optimistic, she said. He was feeling optimistic. She was right of course, he was optimistic, and he wasn't the only one. Vincent had been practically vibrating the last time they'd spoken. The cakes they'd swiped from the kitchen may have been part of it, but he was pretty sure his old chum was feeling just as he was, optimistic.

Gregory Goyle had known all the same people for most of his life. There was Draco Malfoy, a boy whose father could easily be mistaken for his mother in the right light. Pansy Parkinson, a girl who bore a striking resemblance to a pug dog, though don't tell her that. And of course, Vincent Crabbe, his mate, best chum, the person with whom he spent the most time outside his family.

But that was about to change. Stepping onto the fabled Hogwarts Express had been one of the most exciting experiences of his life. To think of all the people who'd done the same, all the great wizards who'd walked the very halls he himself now walked. And it was only going to get better.

They were on a mission, he and Vincent and Draco. Harry Potter was one the train. Yes, 'the' Harry Potter. Probably the most famous wizard outside of Albus Dumbledore still living. And they were going to find him. They were going to meet him. And, most importantly, they were going to befriend him.

Rumors had been circulating for years about The-boy-who-lived, where he was and what he was doing. He'd never believed the nonsense he'd heard from those silly storybooks. Not much anyway. But there was one thing they all knew for sure, Harry Potter had not been introduced to the proper sort of people.

They'd asked around so they knew. Well, Draco asked mostly, they'd just stood there and listened but, point being, their new friend likely knew nothing of proper wizards, and it would be their job to teach him. It may be a big job, but he was up to the task, he had a good feeling.

Optimistic, that's what it was. Optimistic is what he was feeling. And then the door opened.


	2. I dream of

House: Gryffindor  
Year: 7  
Category: short  
Prompt: Following a dream  
Word count: 1433

…

Title: I dream of

…

It was soft. Soft, and warm, and wonderful. It was, amazing. She was amazing. She did things he'd only heard whispers of in secluded corners and broom cupboards, and she did it all over the castle. He knew the path, every step, all the way to the top of the astronomy tower.

Then she kissed him, and he awoke, alone, in his bed, alone.

"Bollocks."

It had been such a beautiful dream too. Or maybe this is what dreams were like for normal people. He couldn't remember a time when his dreams had been even half as pleasant, but he'd heard stories.

Groaning, he fumbled for his glasses and pushed off the covers. He shivered at the chill and quickly scurried into a thick pair of socks, unmatched, thank you Dobby.

The cold persisted, as it tended to do in winter, and hurried him into the rest of his clothing. This year's jumper from Mrs. Weasley slid over top of it all before he shimmied into his shoes and trudged down to the common room.

It was Saturday so the common room was populated sparsely. Surprisingly, he found both Ron and Hermione, sitting across from each other, stealing glances when they thought the other wasn't looking.

He stifled a chuckle. They'd been doing it ever since Ron's near-death love potion experience. Idly he wondered how long it would be before he caught the two of them in a broom cupboard somewhere.

"Morning," he greeted, after sneaking as close as he could.

"Wuh uh, morning," Ron stuttered.

"Eep, uh Harry, goo, good morning," Hermione squeaked.

Harry smiled at the flustered pair, his friends were such fun, "Bit early for you isn't it?" he said, plopping down next to Ron.

"Bit late for you mate," the ginger replied, "already had breakfast."

Harry blinked in surprise. Was it really that late? "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I wanted to," said Ron.

"But I told him to leave you," Hermione cut in, "we know how you've had trouble sleeping and you just looked so peaceful."

Peaceful? Well, kinda. Probably not the word he would have used, and a big stupid grin spread across his face as he remembered.

"What's that about?" Hermione demanded.

"I had a nice dream," said Harry.

"Yeah? Who was she?" Ron asked.

"Really now Ronald, just because he had a nice dream doesn't mean it was about a girl," said Hermione.

"It was," said Harry.

"Ha!"

Hermione scowled at being bested and Harry again resisted the urge to laugh. If they started squabbling, they might just wind up snogging, the tension was so thick.

"Now where are you going?"

"To breakfast obviously."

"Don't you obviously me."

Harry shook his head as their bickering faded behind him. Strolling out the portal he turned to wave at the fat lady who gave him a very knowing look.

"Sleep well?" she inquired 'innocently'.

Yes, he had, "I had a nice dream."

"I'll bet you did," she said, fighting back the snickers.

Harry gave the portrait an odd look before going on his way, "Wonder what that was about?"

The Saturday halls of Hogwarts were only slightly more crowded than the common room. Despite the winter cold, a week being cooped up in classrooms was motivation enough to drive most out of doors.

The living at any rate, "Good morning Sir Nicholas."

"Nearly good afternoon," replied the nearly headless ghost, "late morning Harry?"

The young man nodded, "I was having a nice dream."

"Oh really," said the ghost with a salacious smirk, "Who was she?"

Harry sighed, "Ron asked the same thing."

"Indeed, and where is you Messer Weasley this morning?"

"Snogging Hermione."

"Really?"

"Well, they were arguing when I left but I'm pretty sure they must be snogging by now."

He spoke with the ghost a while longer before continuing his journey. He remembered the path, he didn't know why but he could see it with perfect clarity.

It wasn't the way to the Great Hall as Ron had implied. He had another destination in mind. He wasn't sure why, nice as it had been it was only a dream, but he chose not to fight it.

"Potter!"

And he wasn't going to fight that either, "Nope."

"Huh… what?"

"I'm not going to fight with you Draco," he said, "not today. Go on, go plot your little plots. I'll figure it out later."

Grinning as he walked away from the gaping Malfoy, he wondered if it had always been so easy. Would just ignoring him have always had that effect.

Probably not, but the idea was so intriguing he was still pondering on it when he forcibly made his next encounter. Damn corners.

"Harry, fancy running into you," said Susan Bones.

"We should do it more often," quipped Harry, earning him a grin from Susan and a titter from Hanna Abbot.

"Nice to see you in a good mood," said the giggling girl.

"I had a nice dream," he replied, for the fourth time that day.

"OO, who was she?"

Sigh, "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

The girls only smiled, "Was it me?" asked Susan.

"Was it me?" asked Hannah.

"Was it us?" they asked together, making Harry blush.

"Now you're just teasing me."

The two girls giggled at his petulant pout, "Better not," said Susan.

"Yes, wouldn't want to upset Ginevra," added Hannah, "nasty temper that one."

Harry scowled hearing that, "If Miss Weasley gives either of you any trouble with concerns to me, you just let me know, and I'll straighten her out."

The two girls blushed under the intensity of his gaze, "Oh my, so gallant," said Susan.

"So sweet," added Hannah.

"Lock up your wives and daughters."

"The chosen one is on the prowl."

"Now just what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," they echoed 'too' sweetly.

"You two are going the right way for a smack bottom," Harry warned.

"Promises, promises" said Susan flippantly.

Harry watched the two smug puffs walk away. The little wiggle in their bottoms too calculated to be anything but intentional. Well, two could play at that game.

All it took was one quick flick. Two resounding smacks, two accompanying squeaks, and Harry walked away leaving two naughty girls to stare disbelieving as he vanished around the corner. Thank you Sirius. He may not have gotten a lot of time with the man, but that didn't mean he didn't learn anything.

The Astronomy tower, as he'd expected, was empty when he arrived, and why not. It was midday on a weekend, why would anyone be up there?

"Hullo Harry Potter."

Guess he'd have to ask, "Hello Luna, what brings you up here."

"My feet naturally, since I didn't have a broom."

Harry chuckled at her frank observation. She didn't appear to understand why he was laughing but that too was just so Luna. Sitting down on a convenient bench he motioned for her to join him, "I had a very nice dream last night" he said, "you were in it."

"Shouldn't Ginevra have been there. You seemed to fancy her this year."

She wasn't wrong, and yet, "You know I went to Madam Pomphrey when we came back from hols."

"You were not well," she observed casually.

"After what happened to Ron, what might have happened to me, I thought, couldn't hurt to be sure."

"That's not true" said Luna, "being sure can be quite painful."

"Yeah, guess you're right," he said, trying not to think about the foul drought the Medi-witch had forced down his throat nor the roller-coaster of emotion he'd gone through after. He was just glad he hadn't done it before the holidays. That would have been awkward.

"So, you enjoyed your dream?" she asked after a while.

He nodded, "I certainly liked what you were doing," he said with a blush.

"You wouldn't believe how tired my jaw was."

"What!"

"What?"

"Bu, didn't you just say?"

"I'm sure I didn't."

"But I…" didn't she?

"You mustn't confuse dreams with reality Harry," she said, "otherwise your dreams will never become reality."

Was she really implying? She was, wasn't she. It was hard to tell. Her poker face was exemplary, and she refused to look him in the eye.

Well, only one way to know for sure.

"You're right Luna," he said, casually putting his arm around her waist and pulling her in close.

"I am," she agreed, leaning her head on his shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"So, next time, wake me up when you sneak into my bed in the middle of the night."

"Okay."


	3. Space Wizards

House: Gryffindor  
Year: 7  
Category: drabble  
Prompt: Watching a muggle movie  
Word count: 250

…

Space Wizards

…

"That was just, WOW!"

"Yep."

"No, I mean really, WOW!"

Harry grinned at his friends exuberance. Sneaking out of Grimmauld Place to go to the cinema had been well worth the trouble. He was certain Mrs. Weasley would give them both a stern talking to when they got back. He was equally certain Sirius would be standing right behind her grinning like an idiot the whole time.

His godfather was such a terrible influence, he was just great.

"I can't even imagine the kind of magic you'd need to make that, that Death Star. That's a lot bigger than Hogwarts wasn't it?"

"As big as a moon, they said."

"Cor, that is crazy. When you said this, move-ee, was about space wizards, well, I was not ready for this."

He hadn't been either, and the only reason he wasn't effervescing like Ron was because he was trying to think of how he'd keep Hedwig on a space ship. Because he was going to build one.

"Hey Harry?" Ron said, stopping to stare up at the moon, "you think we'll ever get up there? Space I mean."

"The muggles already made it to the moon." Harry said.

"What, like in a movie?"

"No, no. In real life. One small step for man. One giant leap for mankind, that's what he said."

Ron stared disbelieving, "Cor!"

Harry laughed, "I know, right."

"Harry?"

"Yeah Ron."

"We should do that."

Harry smiled, "S'funny, I was just thinking the exact same thing."

Sure beat anything else he was doing. Cough*Voldemort*Cough.


	4. Hunting with Hagrid

House: Gryffindor  
Year: 7  
Category: standard  
Prompt: What is this thing and what am I supposed to do with it?  
Word Count: 964

…

Hunting with Hagrid, or, The Man-catcher

…

"He's barmy Harry, I'm tellin ya."

"Ron, Hagrid is our friend."

"So! He's still barmy," the ginger insisted, "as if the name Blast-Ended Skrewt wasn't enough of a hint."

"While I will admit some of his choices have been, unorthodox," she hedged, "that's still no reason to think he doesn't have the situation well in hand."

"How do you keep something like that in hand! Harry, you know what I mean right."

"Harry would never be so rude to a friend!"

"Yawwwwwwn!"

The vocally combative duo stared at their messy haired friend who looked back with a bleary half-conscious expression, "Sorry, what were we talking about?"

Ron snickered at the walking dead which elicited a scowl from Hermione, "Harry, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he lied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "just, weird dreams. Keep waking me up."

It was an understatement of the situation, but there was no reason to worry his friends. Nothing they could do about it.

"Gu'mornin class!" Hagrid bellowed in his usual jovial fashion, "Today we'll be continuin our work wit da Skrewts." And the class gave a less than enthusiastic groan which Hagrid either didn't hear or chose to ignore as he approached Harry and Ron with a pair of odd-looking pole arms, "Here ya are lads."

Confounded, the two boys stared at the odd contrivances with the claw like end and all the spikes, "**What is this thing and what am I supposed to do with it**?" Ron asked for both of them.

"That is a man-catcher," said Hagrid, hefting his crossbow and loading a bolt, "back in the day, they used it as a weapon. We are gonna use it, to catch a Skrewt. One of 'em got out last night and wandered into the forest."

"Aw bloody 'ell!" Ron cursed.

"Come on now, not yur first time out there is it."

"That doesn't mean I wanna go back!" Ron whined.

Harry didn't mind so much as long as they steered clear of Aragog and his brood. Would a Blast-Ended Skrewt fight an acromantula, he wondered? They were only quick in short bursts and as far as they'd seen, and possessed no tree climbing ability. The acromantula was both quick and agile giving it ultimate control over the field. The only question was, could it get through the Skrewts shell? Hmm. Why was he thinking about this?

"Well, come on then, times a waistin!"

With an anguished groan and an indifferent shrug, the two boys followed the massive man into the poorly enforced, Forbidden Forest.

"Keep up boys! Wanna find'em afore somefin else does."

"I'm not sure we've got too much to worry about." said Harry.

"How can ye say that? Ee's only a little thing."

"That makes explosions out of its butt," said Ron, "what is gonna want to start a fight with that?"

It was a perfectly reasonable argument, but Hagrid wasn't moved and hustled along the trail of the bomb butted magical hybrid, forcing the boys to jog in order to keep pace.

"Ey Harry, you think there's any chance something did get it and we won't have to drag it back?" Ron whispered.

"I wouldn't count on it." his luck had never been 'that' good, "I'm actually more worried about what else might find us." He needn't have though, as they found the Skrewt without much more ado. Or, it may be more accurate to say it found them.

Announcing its arrival with a loud bang, it sailed from the bushes like a deformed rocket, "Nab im lads!"

Having no idea how to use the antique man-catcher it was rather like trying to play one of those infernal claw games, only the prize kept exploding and trying to take your legs off.

"Just push it down on is ead, don't worry about the spikes, it won't hurt im!'

"First he's worried about the stupid thing now the spikes won't hurt it. Barmy!" Ron swore as he tried to snag the non-exploding end.

Another blast sent the Skrewt buzzing past Ron and directly at Harry. Harry planted his feet, and at the last second jabbed down with the man-catcher. The spiked catching claw clamped around the skrewts stumpy neck, and under Harry's weight jammed both the tool and the Skrewts head into the ground.

"I got it!" shouted Harry, barely believing it.

"Nice one mate!" Ron cheered.

"Good work Arry, now we jus gotta…"

But before Hagrid could tell them what they had to do next, the Skrewt decided it didn't want to be captured. Attempting to blast itself to freedom, it succeeded only in blasting itself into tiny little pieces. Harry, lucky bloke that he was, had a front row seat for the event. Yeah, he was 'that' lucky.

…

"Harry!" Hermione screamed the moment she saw him trudging out of the forest with a blackened pole in his hand.

"Ey." he replied, removing his blackened glasses and squinting at the talking blur, "Hermione?"

"Harry, what happened to you?"

"Skrewt." he said.

"It exploded, didn't it?" not the first to do so.

Harry nodded, "Man-catcher. Warranty invalid if used for purposes other than intended."

Hermione shook her head, "Honestly Harry, is this really the time to be making stupid jokes."

"Is there ever a time not to be making stupid jokes?"

"Aw it's not so bad mate," Ron said, coming up and slapping his blackened friend on the shoulder, "at least we didn't have to drag the thing back."

"So glad you're finding the silver lining Ron" said Harry, giving a sooty cough.

"What are friends for?" said the un-scorched ginger.


	5. Oh papa

House: Gryffindor

Year: 7

Category: drabble

Prompt: [Character] Fleur Delacour

Word Count: 500

…

Oh, Papa!

…

It was always an exciting prospect to travel. She so rarely got to. When she'd turned eleven and first traveled to Beauxbaton, she'd very nearly exploded in excitement. She was older now, and wiser, and far less prone to exploding… most days. That didn't stop her from happily humming to herself as she packed her bags for her next big trip.

"I don't think you should go."

Throwing her father a skeptical glance, she continued her packing. "So you have said," numerous times, "and as I have said, I am going."

"Flower, please, be reasonable."

She was being reasonable. It was her father who refused to see sense. "Madam Maxine has already selected me to be prospective champion. I would not insult her by withdrawing now."

"But think of the danger," he insisted. "People have died in this tournament and not just a few."

"I know papa." She'd done her research. She knew her chances. "I am going."

"It's a dreadful country you know," he said, switching tactics. "It rains every day."

"Then I will pack my umbrella," she said, putting word to action.

"I've seen this Hogwarts castle. Just the most dull, blocky, gray…"

Oh really now, "I am not going for the architecture."

"Winter! The winters are simply wretched, just, feet and feet of snow. You know you hate the cold."

"I will make a fire, or," her eyes twinkled with mischief, "perhaps I will find a nice English boy to do it for me."

She fought not to laugh at the way her father's face contorted, "Nice English boy! Non! There is no such thing!"

"You mean, they are all beasts?"

"Yes! Terrible, brutish, monsters."

"Oh, what do you think they will do with me?"

"Horrible things Flower. Unspeakable things!"

"Unspeakable?" He nodded vehemently. "How exciting."

"Fleur!"

Her father's paranoid hysterics proved too much, and she burst out into peals of laughter. "Oh, papa, you are too easy."

Realizing what had happened, her father fell into a sulking pout, "It's not funny."

Yes it was, immensely so, "Do not pout papa. I will still write."

"But, but it's so much farther than Beauxbaton, think of poor Reynard!" Sitting on his perch in the corner of her room, the owl in question turned his head as if to say, 'I am being spoken of.'

Unmoved by her father's last desperate plea, "I have thought he has been looking rather 'plump' of late. The exercise will be good for him."

Horrified by her accusation the very svelte owl angrily fluffed out his feathers in a way that did not at all make him look 'plump'.

Making several aborted attempts to say, something, her father hung his head in defeat.

"Now papa. Hogwarts is not so far. I will be back, and none the worse for the experience."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"… and you promise no boys?"

Fleur smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her papa's cheek. "Non."


	6. The obligatory Sailor Moon crossover

House: Gryffindor

Year: 7

Category: Standard

Prompt: [Setting] Mahoutokoro School of Magic (Japan)

Word Count: 1500

…

The Obligatory Sailor Moon Crossover

…

Mornings. It didn't matter what part of the world you were in, they always arrived too early. That was Tsukino Usagi's take on them anyway. If mornings could wait to come till around, tenish, that would be much better.

Alas, this was not how things were. She knew because her little egg alarm clock with the hatching chick on top was telling her it was time to get up while only declaring it to be 7:00 a.m. She fumbled around her nightstand, seeking the annoying yet adorable alarm with her hand in a vain attempt not to open her eyes. "Noisy chicken, hush!" she grumbled.

Eventually her angry searching hands found the super kawaii time piece and 'calmly' put the chicken back in its egg. It had been difficult not to chuck it across the room, but she'd managed to break herself of that habit.

The ultimate solution had been to find the cutest 'digital' clock she could find. No simple repair spell would be enough to resurrect her chicky clock now, magic being quite finicky with electronics. Of course, like most of her brilliant ideas, this one had come from her roommate.

"Ami-chan?" Odd. She'd usually be prodding her out of bed by this point.

Peeking out of her blanket cocoon, she discovered her bluenette roommate draped across her bed, half dressed with her face smooshed in the pillow. She was still wearing her glasses, which must have been uncomfortable shoved into the pillow like that, and a cursory glance revealed a tower of books sitting on her desk.

Usagi loved her roommate. Ami was probably the nicest girl she knew, except maybe Makoto, and was the sole reason Usagi hadn't flunked out in her first year at Mahoutokoro School of Magic.

She loved her even more though when she was like this because it meant she wouldn't force her to get out of bed. Beaming at her unconscious roommate she rolled over, intent on going back to sleep. Except, she'd forgotten one thing.

"Usagi."

"mmrr."

"Usagi."

"noooo!"

"Usagi! Get up!"

The blonde twin tail groaned as her feline familiar/advisor poked and prodded relentlessly. Mornings. Why did they always have to come so early?

…

Kino Makoto sat beneath the sakura tree in the schools main courtyard sipping her morning tea. She'd been up early to make her lunch, plus spares, and was now waiting for her friends, letting the gentle morning breeze play with her ponytail as she waited.

"Mm!" she loved mornings. The peace, tranquility. She knew Usagi would thing she was mad, but she couldn't help it.

"Mako-chan!"

Drawn from her reverie, she waved at the raven-haired girl coming her direction, "Good morning Rei-chan."

"Morning," the fiery raven hair said. "First one's?"

"Ami's going to be late this morning," she said.

Rei looked at her friend oddly till the light bulb went on, "She pull another all-nighter?"

Makoto nodded, "I saw her surrounded by books as I was leaving the library last night."

Rei sighed, "We need to keep an eye on her or it's going to be the time crusher all over again."

Makoto groaned, "Please, don't even joke about that."

"Mooooooooorning!"

"Minako-chan!" they echoed.

The bouncy blonde with a white cat clinging to her shoulder excitedly jogged across the courtyard. "Good Morning!" she exclaimed with excessive gusto, much to her familiar's chagrin.

"Someone's had their caffeine," remarked Rei, forcing Makoto to suppress the urge to titter.

"I got a letter," she proclaimed, waving her international missive in her friends face smugly.

"Another from your pen pal in England," said Rei with an indulgent smile.

"Scotland Rei-chan, Scotland," she corrected, plopping down next to her dark-haired friend.

Rei rolled her eyes while Minako tore open her letter and Makoto retrieved the poor ruffled feline from the blonde's shoulder.

"Morning Artemis." The frazzled feline quickly unwound under the skillful hands of the early riser, "Better?"

"You're a saint Makoto," the white cat purred. "Don't ever let anyone tell you differently."

The ponytail girl chuckled, patiently scratching all the places she knew he liked, while her dark-haired friend not so patiently inquired as to the contents of the blonde one's letter.

"Sounds like a busy year," said Minako. "They're apparently hosting some big tournament with two other schools. Oh, it started on Halloween. Uh, huh, oh, well that doesn't sound good."

"What? What doesn't sound good?" Rei demanded.

"Apparently someone messed with the artifact they were using to select the champion for each school, and they wound up with an extra."

"Who's the extra?" asked Makoto.

"Harry Potter."

The other two girls' eyes bugged at the name. Even way over on the other side of the world they'd heard the name Harry Potter. Wasn't everyday you had an infant survive an un-survivable curse.

"How did he manage to do that?" said Rei, shocked.

Minako shrugged, "They don't know."

"More importantly," interrupted Makoto, "you went to school with 'the' Harry Potter!"

Minako blink blinked innocently, "Didn't I ever tell you that?"

"NO!" her friends echoed.

"Oh. Yeah, I went to school with Harry Potter." Her friends groaned as her cat chuckled, "What?"

"Details!" Rei cried.

"Not really much to say." She'd been in Hufflepuff, not Gryffindor, "I guess he was kinda shy, or maybe it was just awkward. Hmm. I heard Professor Snape hated him."

"I remember you mentioning him," said Makoto. "But didn't he hate everyone."

Minako nodded, "Yeah, but not like Harry. I never had potions with him, but rumor was Snape went after him if he breathed too hard."

"Charming," said Rei.

"What about you Artemis?" Makoto wondered.

The cat shook his head, "Only saw him once in passing. Though I remember thinking he smelled strongly of dark magic."

"Makes sense," Rei opined, "curses always leave a mark, even if you can't see it, and he didn't survive just any old curse either."

"That was my thinking as well," said the feline. "It's why I never bothered looking into it. Had enough to do tracking down Youma in a place already brimming with magical presences."

"Speaking of presence, it's getting kinda late," Makoto observed, glancing at her watch.

Rei sighed, "She's going to be late again."

The others would have sighed too, had they not been suddenly distracted by a very loud shadow suddenly growing on the ground before them.

"There they are! Hey guys!"

"USAGI! THE GROUND!"

This was all the warning they had before a broom riding blonde, her blue haired passenger, and feline familiar, cratered into the well-manicured lawn under the sakura tree.

"Meatball head!" Rei screamed when she could finally see through the dust and debris.

"Is everyone alright?" Makoto coughed.

"Not bad," said Minako. "I give it a six."

Rei glared at her flippant friend who was spared a scathing remark when something bumped into her leg, "Luna!"

Said feline looked around vacantly, likely concussed, "Su, Senshi Sailors!" she shouted. "Oma, quish, transport." Flopping over like a sack of rice she began pawing the air, "Hurry."

"Uh, anybody else catch that?" asked Minako who stared at the moon cat while she tried running lying on her back.

"Youma," said an exhausted Ami, having finally dug herself free. "On the other side of campus."

"Wonderful," Rei growled, "now we're all going to be late. Senshi! Transform!"

"Wait!" cried a twin tailed blonde, staggering out of her crater. "Thas my line," she said, flopping over and imitating her cat, "Ima, Ima punish you in da moon."

Again, the raven-haired girl groaned, resisting the urge to cry, "What did I ever do to deserve this?"

And somewhere, on the other side of the world, another dark-haired hero was wondering the very same thing.

…

"Bubble Blast!"

"Crescent beam Smash!"

"Thunder Crash!"

"Fire Ignite!"

Meioh Setsuna buried her head under her arms as she sat at her desk listening to the rampant and wanton destruction running around her campus. Why had she decided to take this job?

"Run, it's gonna throw that tree!"

Oh right, because it allowed her to keep a close eye on her 'chosen ones'.

Ugh! Worst mistake of her life. She'd thought just being the Senshi of time was a rough gig. How naïve she'd been. At least as the Senshi of time she just had to watch them wreck things, as their headmaster it was her job to make sure all of it was fixed plus find a way to pay for the repairs.

"Ah! Not the fountain!"

"Uuuuuugh! It's not fair. Why couldn't I just host a stupid tournament like Dumbledore?" An international tournament couldn't possibly be this much trouble.

"Look out, he's headed for the library!"

Oh dear Serenity, "I wish I were anywhere but here right now."

And somewhere, half way around the world, a tired old man with more than the average number of names, was thinking the very same thing.

…

And the lesson kids?

The grass always looks greener on the other side of the world.

Remember, Sailor Moon says.


End file.
